


The Kingdom of YouTube

by Sangfroid_Sorrow



Category: LeafyIsHere - Fandom, Pyrocynical - Fandom, Youtube RPF, Youtubers
Genre: Bleach - Freeform, Cynical, FML, I try too hard, Leafy, Memes, No Plot, No sense made, Not to be taken seriously, Pyro - Freeform, Pyrosanical, Small loan of a million dollars, Tony Bamanaboni - Freeform, kingdom - Freeform, references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 10:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7045102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sangfroid_Sorrow/pseuds/Sangfroid_Sorrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The great kingdom of YouTube is ruled by King PewDiePie and a rising anarchist called Leafy. Can wizard-pyrosanical crossbreed Pyro save the day?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kingdom of YouTube

**Author's Note:**

> Not to be taken seriously. Most of this is written JUST to random reference things, so please don't think I'm attempting to insult people. Or YouTubers. 
> 
> This makes very little sense, was written before my exams, and is probably internet cancer. I'm truly sorry.

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom known as YouTube. It was a land of many names- 'the place of cancer', 'the pits of hell' and 'life-ruining shithole' being some of the most common. Regardless, it still gathered millions of tourists a year from different countries with different (and therefore fucking **WRONG** ) opinions. The Rice Fields of YouTube, where the majority of the population lived, was run on the money they earned through ad revenue. Many were celebrities and LaBeouf-esque assholes that cashed up by creating media that would persist for over ten minutes, for maximum profit. And, seeing how the nation was basically a discount hollywood, there was an extraordinarily large amount of drama.

King PewDiePie, for the most part, appreciated the drama. (And, naturally, if he would ever speak about it as anything distasteful, then nobody would understand him and insurgent GradeAUnderA would tear him down sans compassion, as though it was yet another 'sans' commenter in an advice column. _Fucking Undertale_.) However, there were rumours that King Pewds (who had too many nicknames to count) (sub to him, he needs it) (desperately) often paid respect to drama-causing anarchist called 'Leafy'. He was a supposedly racist cyberbully who had only escaped the authorities thanks to his overwhelming fanbase of CS:GO players. He never expressed emotion and often promised things he would never provide. Many could share a story in which the cyberbully scammed them out of spaceships, money and limos. Fucking degenerate.

But, returning to the prior topic, there were a helltonne of people concerned about the Leaf's rising. The townsfolk, who either palled around with the two powers or bitched about them consistently, decided it would be best to enlist the help of a wizard. It was agreed that the only fnafag who could save them was the phantom creature, the Pyrosanical. However, the YouTube citizens had no idea of how to locate the shape-shifter, and the gang was going to have to look for clues! I Hate Everything, who didn't particularly want to become involved because he hated them all (and was struggling with his own crippling self-hatred), suggested they ask the Pyrosanical's children.

Inspired, the townspeople visited the local Karot club. Othminator, a young man from a dysfunctional family, was practicing his powerful punches against a slab of wood. He managed to knock it down and released a proud war-cry. Carefully, the citizens approached him and asked his advice.

"I'm not asked advice often," he was quick to admit. "I don't know where my father is. He abandoned me after I was created- I wasn't his blood son, no. He formed me from dead memes but I caused him to much pain to keep. So I just stalk him when he ventures into YouTube. I'll tell you if he's in town... also, Onision touched me."

The leader of the rebels called him a fag and the group moved on.

Next, they visited the Malteser factory in the outskirts of the kingdom. The boss, Stomedy, was holding one of the brown balls when the entered, inspecting it with the occasional odd noise. Once they became brave enough to disturb him he rushed to switch off the lights. Engulfed in darkness, the YouTube subjects awkwardly questioned him.

"He's a monster!" the creature cackled. "He's got rabies, and he can turn into a- what is that? A- a hippopotamus!"

The insurgents left, feeling as though humanity was worthless and they would all burn in hell. Someone graffitied 'teletubby' on the wall of the Malteser factory and everyone liked it.

Suddenly, they noticed the Othminator running towards them, carrying a bottle of bleach and a long plank.

"Pyro," he panted, taking a swig of his drink. "He's in Headquarters, arguing with a reporter-"

They rushed past him, with only a few men stopping to ask for a sip. Sprinting and breathing in fresh air for one of the first times since they moved to YouTube, they raced to HQ. When they arrived they saw a bearded guy with a bucket of popcorn waving his mic around irritably and yelling at a man wearing a fucking television on his head. He had the appearance of a majestic gay fox, and the townsfolk watched in awe as the drama unfolded.

"I'm not going to insult you, this is only a fucking playground battle!"

"Now, Keem, buddy, pal-" the Foxy-admirer tried.

"Let's get right into the noose. We might even make the damn front page!" he hissed.

"Hey, cut it out assholes," came a new voice, as though attracted by the reptilian sound. The civilians turned to stare at the newcomer- who was none other than the fucking cyberbully they wanted to destroy. He noted their glances and smirked (dully, as if empty inside). "What's up guys? PewDiePie here."

The wizard edged his default CS:GO knife back into its sheathe, carefully attempting to hide his shame, but the Leaf observed his discomfort in sadistic glee.

Pulling his snapback-cap further down, Leafy met the Pyrosanical's gaze before raking his eyes down his form. "... Nice shirt."

"I fucking hate him," said the fox then, peeking down to his grey top and purple hoodie. "How dare he compliment my shirt."

The townsfolk felt a burden leaf their shoulders, and they smiled. Half of their work was done- now, all they had to do was convince the beast to fight Leafy. However, even this problem was solved for the lucky assholes as Keemstar jumped right back into the conversation.

"Fight, bitches," he demanded, grabbing a fistful of popcorn.

"Well, I mean, if the man says so," the fox shrugged and Leafy nodded to him amiably. Then, they dove at one another.

To make a long story short, they created a new meme together. A perfect piece of internet that everyone adored hating. All conflict died off and world peace and shit became reality. The woman in love with her dog was entered into an asylum with the creepy mermaid and Stomedy began to spend his evenings drinking bleach with the Othminator. 'Kys' and 'fat' became trending references and everything was right again. Pyrocynical, as it was revealed he was called, set up a charity with a small loan of a million dollars to make YouTube known to children in Africa. PewDiePie was eventually dethroned and replaced with a glorious spaghetti-lover named Tony Bamanaboni, who later drove the nation to bankruptcy and misery with his questionable opinions on life insurance, but who fucking cares. The crippling depression and demeaning skin-insanity of YouTube faded away, and the wizard who really just reacted to what had happened (but wisely so) lived happily ever after...

Too bad this is just a fanfic.


End file.
